RBCT Chapter 59 Washboard or Keyboard? Lin Zhou Chooses to Kneel on a Durian
Chapter 59 Washboard or Keyboard? Lin Zhou Chooses to Kneel on a Durian
Inside, the atmosphere was tense, with a touch of eerie absurdity.
Lin Zhou looked down at the two "torture instruments" on the ground, his expression as serious as if he were pondering Goldbach's Conjecture.
On the left is that old-fashioned wooden washboard, weathered and creviced, incredibly hard, making one's knees ache just looking at it.
On the right is a Musang King durian, about the size of a basketball, covered in sharp thorns, gleaming with a chilling light, and emitting an intoxicating aroma.
This is hardly a choice between two options.
This is clearly a life-or-death choice between "disability" and "disfigurement".
"Have you made your choice?"
Su Qingge stood to the side with her arms crossed, her chin slightly raised, and a dangerous glint in her phoenix eyes, making her look just like a queen judging mortals.
"Um... honey, could there be a third option?"
Lin Zhou tentatively pointed to the laptop on the table next to him, "Like the keyboard? It's a bit stiff, but at least it's flat..."
"Dream on."
Su Qingge sneered, ruthlessly shattering his illusions. "Keyboards are easy to break from kneeling, but they're my productivity tools. Washboards are durable, and durians... are even more sincere."
"You have three seconds. Three, two..."
"I choose durian!"
Just as Su Qingge was about to count to "one", Lin Zhou suddenly shouted, his tone so tragic that it sounded as if he was going to blow up a bunker.
Su Qingge was stunned for a moment.
She was just trying to scare him and teach him a lesson. Most normal people would choose a washboard, right? After all, while it hurts, at least it doesn't bleed.
Should I choose durian?
Is this guy's brain filled with cement?
Are you sure?
Su Qingge looked at him suspiciously, "If you kneel down with this thing, do you still want your knees? Don't blame me for the rest of your life if you end up crippled."
"Absolutely! And without a doubt!"
Lin Zhou bent down, picked up the large durian, weighed it in his hands, and began his twisted logic with a straight face:
"Honey, look, this washboard is made of solid wood. A head-on collision would be pure physical damage. Kneeling on it for too long could cause your meniscus to wear down. It's not worth it."
"But durian is different."
He pointed to the spikes and analyzed them logically:
"Although it looks fierce, it has substance. This thing costs several hundred dollars, it would be such a waste to kneel on it and break it. But if I'm careful, kneeling on the shell can serve as punishment, showing my sincerity. After it's finished kneeling, we can peel it open and eat it."
"What do you call that? That's called making the most of everything and knowing how to live frugally!"
"Besides, I can't let you feel bad, can I? What if I really ruin my knees? Who will carry you for five kilometers? Who will cook for you? Who will massage your feet?"
This statement is logically sound and flawless.
He seamlessly blended "stinginess" with "survival instinct," and even managed to tease Su Qingge at the end.
Su Qingge was stunned, and her originally stern face almost broke down.
That bastard.
He's clearly being punished, so why does he make it sound like he's just living his life?
"Soliciting nonsense."
She glared at him reproachfully, but the anger in her eyes had long since dissipated.
"So I'll kneel down?"
Looking at Su Qingge's expression, Lin Zhou understood what was going on.
He held the durian, making a move as if to put it on the ground, and bent his knees accordingly. His movements were swift and decisive, without the slightest hesitation.
His knee was about to make intimate contact with those sharp thorns.
"stop!"
Su Qingge's heart skipped a beat, and she instinctively cried out.
She rushed forward, grabbed Lin Zhou's arm, and pulled him up from the ground, her tone tinged with anger and lingering fear:
"Are you stupid? You're really going to kneel? Don't you want your legs anymore?"
"My wife tells me to kneel, so I dare not disobey."
Lin Zhou straightened up, grinning like a loyal dog, "As long as my wife calms down, I'll do anything, even climb mountains of knives, let alone durian."
"Smooth-talking!"
Su Qingge rolled her eyes at him, snatched the durian from his arms, and slammed it heavily on the table.
"Alright, stop playing the victim. I, Su Qingge, am not that heartless. If I really cripple you, I'll have to take care of you."
She turned around, her back to Lin Zhou, not wanting him to see her slightly red eyes and upturned lips.
Although she knew this guy didn't tell the truth, her heart still melted when she saw him kneel down without hesitation.
This man, although he was a bit of a jerk before, is different now...
He was very obedient and spoiled her a lot.
"Then what about the punishment..." Lin Zhou cautiously leaned closer.
"He may be spared the death penalty, but he cannot escape punishment."
Su Qingge turned around, pointed to the enormous durian on the table, and issued her command with an air of queenly authority:
"Since you like this durian so much, then peel it."
"I want to eat the flesh. If you dare to break the fruit even a little bit, or not peel it clean enough..."
She squinted and made a "click" gesture.
"Alright! Mission accomplished!"
Lin Zhou felt as if he had been granted a pardon and rolled up his sleeves to get to work.
Peeling durians is a piece of cake for someone with god-level culinary skills like Zhang Fei eating bean sprouts.
Instead of using brute force, he found the crack at the bottom of the durian and skillfully used his wrist.
"Click."
The hard outer shell cracked open, revealing the plump, yellow flesh inside, and a rich, sweet aroma instantly filled the entire room.
"Wife, come on, open your mouth."
Lin Zhou took out the plumpest piece of fruit, carefully removed the pit, and handed it directly to Su Qingge's mouth.
Su Qingge subconsciously opened her mouth and took a bite.
Soft, sweet, and melts in your mouth.
"Is it sweet?" Lin Zhou looked at her with a smile, his eyes so tender they could melt your heart.
"Hmm...it's alright."
Su Qingge gave a haughty snort, but her eyes were full of satisfied smiles. She licked the fruit pulp from the corner of her mouth, and looked at the white mark on Lin Zhou's finger from the shell, and a thought struck her.
"You eat too."
She pushed the half-eaten piece of fruit she had taken a bite of toward Lin Zhou's mouth, "Don't just focus on me, try some yourself too."
"What my wife left over? It must taste delicious."
Without any hesitation, Lin Zhou bit Su Qingge's finger... the piece of meat next to it.
The warm touch on her fingertips sent a jolt through Su Qingge, who quickly withdrew her hand, her cheeks instantly flushing red.
"You pervert! Who told you to bite... to bite such a big bite!"
"Is this what you call being a hooligan? We haven't even done anything more outrageous yet."
Lin Zhou grinned mischievously and leaned closer. Under the dim light, the two of them took turns eating, creating an atmosphere so sweet it was almost cloying.
They completely forgot they were filming a TV show.
They also completely forgot that the camera in the corner, which should have been turned off, was now flickering dimly with its small red light due to malfunction or negligence.
Although it was late at night, hundreds of thousands of fans were still online in the live stream.
The whole "kneeling on durians" drama was broadcast live in high definition without any censorship.
The comment section exploded:
"Holy crap! I've learned something new! Kneeling on durians to avoid wasting them? That's some ingenious logic!"
"I give Lin Zhou full marks for this move! He seemed to be admitting defeat, but he actually had her figured out! Has Goddess Su been won over so easily?"
"Is this the ultimate power struggle? One second it's a battlefield, the next it's feeding me durian?! Where's my insulin?!"
"Help! That finger-biting gesture was so seductive! Lin Zhou, you're a monster!"
"Has anyone noticed the cameras? They seem unaware that they're being broadcast live?"
"Shh! Don't remind me! Please don't remind me! I love watching these real married couples' daily lives without paying!"
Inside the room, the two were still cuddling.
"Honey, what do you want to eat tomorrow? I'll make it for you."
"I want to eat fish... how about we go fish-catching tomorrow?"
"Okay, I'll do as you say. If you want to catch fish, I'll catch fish; if you want to go to the sky, I'll go to the sky."
"Lin Zhou..."
"Um?"
"From now on... could you only be nice to me?"
Su Qingge's voice was very soft, with a hint of uncertainty and caution.
Lin Zhou stopped peeling the durian, looked up, and gazed intently into her eyes:
"Su Qingge, you'll remember this."
"I used to be blind, but now I can see again."
"From now on, my eyes will only be able to hold you and Nuonuo; not even a female mosquito can fly in."
Su Qingge smiled.
That smile was like ice and snow melting away, bringing everything back to life.
She reached out and wrapped her arms around Lin Zhou's neck, burying her head in the crook of his neck, her voice soft and sweet:
"I'll trust you this once... but if you dare to lie to me, I'll make you kneel on durians for the rest of your life."